The Cone….of….Shame….

Have you ever seen anything more pathetic?

I’m sure she thinks all of this hamming-it-up will actually get her somewhere.

Let me think about that… um… no, not really. Sorry, Sadie, but you’re out of luck, pup! You’ve brought this on yourself. Can’t stop chewing on your tail? Solution: cone. There’s a reason why vet techs called it the “cone of shame,” after all.

This evening we may even take her on a walk, cone and all, to help us beef up our efforts to make friends around here. I’ll explain. See, one thing we’re discovering is that nearly all of the other married couples that we meet on this base have kids–many already have quite the brood before they’re even out of their twenties. (Is there something in the water on military bases? Yikes!) In any case, J and I are quickly learning that this kidless-ness puts us decidedly out of the loop, considering that most of the events and activities that go on are uber family friendly. I mean, seriously, however will we make friends without multiple daily visits to playground benches or the kiddy pool section of the base pool?? Solution: Operation Poodle.

Kids love puppies. Kids especially love soft, fluffy puppies that look like sheep. Kids have parents. Parents often like to supervise when their kids go running up to a large dog. The parents ask us why Sadie’s trembling (since she’s weird like that) and…Bingo! All we have to do is take a nice stroll through the neighborhoods. Thank you, Sadie!

Still, I can’t help but feel a little like an undeserving outsider when I get invited to hang out with a group of women who are all moms of young children. Where are all the “dog moms” out there? I’m sorry, but I’m just not ready to hear all about potty-training misadventures or sibling rivalry or picky eaters or the need to take “mommy time” or anything else like that, yet. Operation Poodle has its limits, apparently. I start to feel like I’m wearing my own invisible “cone of shame,” sometimes… a barrier between me and them.

However, in all honesty, I do also feel just a tad bit sneakily (shamelessly, perhaps?) happy that, for the time being, our family consists of just J, myself, and a neurotic dog. Plenty of time for all of that other craziness later!

Let’s just hope that there are a few other folks around here who feel the same way!


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